miss angie

A couple of years ago, a very good friend and colleague of mine had the distinct pleasure of a lunch date with that magnificent Hollywood legend, Miss Angie Dickinson, at the infamous Polo Lounge at The Beverly Hills Hotel. Over highballs and Waldorf Salad, this Grande Dame of Hollywood Royalty enchanted him with a bevy of delightful stories from her amazing life, including the time she was approached to star in a project and asked to attend a subsequent meeting in Burbank to discuss the particulars. As the story goes, her driver delivered her to the address they were given, and when they arrived, she recalled thinking it rather odd that the meeting was not only being held in a high school auditorium, but that it was in the auditorium of the very same high school that she herself had attended many years before. She shrugged her glamorous, padded shoulders, and opened the door.

Once inside, instead of finding a few entertainment executives gathered around a conference table, she found lights, camera, a film crew, and an auditorium full of people — many of whom she recognized. Suddenly she found herself face to face with an enthusiastic gentleman in a tuxedo who stuck a microphone in her face and announced for all to hear, “Angie Dickinson — THIS IS YOUR LIFE!” She blinked, looked around the room, and then back at him, and with a face like granite, said:

“THE FUCK IT IS…”

She then turned on her shapely heel and walked out.

Now that, my friends, is a BADASS.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
This entry was posted in categories can suck my dick. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s