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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

on track

Posted on February 9, 2012

This is my new favorite website — concise, wicked, to the bone. One of the very few I know of that truly speaks to the weary, annoyed, eye-rolling, nostril-flared, cultural loathing that dwells deep within my fat, black little heart: … Continue reading →

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mentioning my unmentionables

Posted on February 9, 2012

Recently, one of the broads on my Facebook friends list publicly derided granny panties, opining that they look like ugly, oversized toddler chonies and that wearing them pretty much means you’ve, “given up.” Yes. Of course. Because I am just … Continue reading →

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scott

Posted on February 2, 2012

“Things are sweeter when they’re lost. I know — because once I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted badly…and when I got it, it turned to dust in my hand.” – Scott Fitzgerald

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hygrometer sparkin’ white hot

Posted on January 20, 2012

And with this one smooth, dulcet croon from Our Fearless Leader, one can just sense the sudden rush of dew on Herman Miller Aeron Chairs the nation over. Talk about your “TRUE BLACK”, BITCHES. Like I’ve told you before, my … Continue reading →

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fred

Posted on January 8, 2012

Oh, my stars…what a whirlwind weekend of WONDER! Last night my fatass sashayed into an AWESOME club in Little Tokyo with My One True Love and our best girl, Miss Pammie, where we partooketh of a jaw-dropping performance of REAL-DEAL, … Continue reading →

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crazy eyes

Posted on January 5, 2012

Have you ever dated a guy who made CRAZY EYES when he was fucking you? I’m not talking about “Crazy ‘O’ Face” here — everybody has that, for chrissake. I’m talking about actual CRAZY EYES while he’s nailing you. Talk … Continue reading →

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genius

Posted on January 4, 2012

“A genius is someone who shoots at something that no one else can see…and hits it.” One of my writer friends recently put out a call on Facebook asking for the names of creative geniuses, historical and/or contemporary, I am … Continue reading →

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se7en deadly sins: pride

Posted on January 3, 2012

The Seven Deadly Sins Day 1 — Pride. Seven awesome things about yourself: 1) I’m a HUGE belly laugher – and I can and do belly laugh at ANYTHING…even tragedy and horror. In fact, belly laughing is how I survive … Continue reading →

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chinga tu madre

Posted on January 3, 2012

I just gotta say that I LOATHE how we have commodified and fetishized babies and motherhood in this culture. Just the thought of it makes my flesh crawl. It’s time to move past the $300 diaper bags with hand-embroidered bluebirds … Continue reading →

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le ferocious goat

Posted on January 1, 2012

My youngest daughter, Anne, and I were hanging out this afternoon, belly laughing and reciting lines from “Bridesmaids”…and at some point we touched on the subject of fear — and I told her, “If I could give you only one … Continue reading →

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