Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

goils

My BRILLIANT, BEAUTIFUL sisters — Miss Nadya Ginsburg and Miss Selene Luna. I LOVE THESE BROADS WITH ALL MY FAT, BLACK HEART. There are MANY Framilies in the world…but, goddamnit, THIS ONE is MINE. ‪#‎framily‬  ‪#‎realfuckinladies‬ ‪#‎TRESFIERCEBITCHES‬

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment

truth

Mmm-hmm. Thas right, you dumb triflin’ muthafuckas.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

girls

And, while we’re on the subject of GIRL POWER.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

you can’t handle the truth

Inane Muff Universal Observation #722: When you have cherished married friends who are separated…there is one surefire way to definitively know that either one or the other has officially lawyered up and filed for divorce: SOMEBODY’S FACEBOOK SUDDENLY and INEXPLICABLY … Continue reading

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

her

If there is ONE THING that bewilders and confounds me, it is women who will occasionally do what I call, “Bumping Up Against Me” — a quick cultural coup-count/test joust to see if I will compete with them for Queen … Continue reading

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

dv

After randomly reading about her whilst still a teenager growing up in Fresno, California…looking back now, from the perch of A Certain Age, I can say with all certainty: SHE CHANGED MY FUCKING LIFE. Because of Miss Diana Vreeland, I … Continue reading

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

la

“If you’re in it to win it…you just gotta stick with it. Through the good times AND through the bad times.” To enter this shitty, shifty, glittering arena and do battle with the most clever, creative, beautiful, talented, ambitious people … Continue reading

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment

dukes

Yeah, you goddamned right I fight like a girl. You got a fuckin’ problem with that? ‘Cause we could, like, you know…step outside and discuss it.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

17

I was tagged by my FABULOUS friend and colleague — the BRILLIANT writer and actress, Miss Erin Chandler — to list several random facts about myself (I did 17! My favorite number! Do however many you want!)…and to then nominate … Continue reading

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

sing it

“Oh, sweet mystery of life…at last I’ve found you!”

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment