Author Archives: muffybolding
Unbelievably enough (considering that I have BEAT THE FATASS OF THAT BASTARD SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM and am only 27, myself) , my three beautiful babies are 27, 23, and 20…and every single Thanksgiving since their births, they have had this orange … Continue reading
GORGEOUS, NOBLE, MAJESTIC, Big Pink Vagina Mountain that watches over me and my little family like a sentinel…keeping us safe. Always. #noshitnofilter #scattermynattyfattieashesinaltadena
I post this poem tonight for our great friends — Jamie Hebert and Alec Mapa — and their BEAUTIFUL, MAGICAL, LOVING, BELOVED son, Zion Hebert-Mapa…who is ADORED and CHERISHED by a vast network of proud, honorary Aunties and Uncles, myself … Continue reading
To all those whom it may concern — I have contacted my attorney and added a new ironclad codicil to my last will and testament…with regards to My Framily. These are my wishes: After Gregory and my three babies get their … Continue reading
Inane Asshole Muff COMPLETELY True Fact #694: I actually had to clutch my pearls, close my eyes, take a deep breath, wipe my tears, light candles, and pray to St. Judy and St. Liza for strength and guidance — so that … Continue reading
Inane Muff Fact #719: When I was little, I used to watch The Waltons every Thursday night without fail. I was OBSESSED. But, regardless of what dire, Depression-era tragedy happened to be unfolding on Walton’s Mountain on any given week, … Continue reading
Inane HORRIFYING Muff Realization #272: On this day, October 20th, 2014…I am FUCKING OLDER than motherloving ALL-TALENT old lady Jean Stapleton was as Edith Bunker on, “All In The Family.” Holy shit. YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS.
See, here’s the deal. The harder this fucking society attempts to civilize and bowdlerize my fatass…the HARDER and FIERCER I will push back. Trust me, Mein Haters…there is SO MUCH MORE COMING. Count on it.
Yeah. Mama has fucking HAD IT with all this annoying, precious, fetishized, commodified, overblown, HORSESHIT, 21st Century parenting. Children who are a COMPLETE imposition on the lives of their TERRIFIED, FECKLESS parents. Children who are pushed and stressed and over-scheduled … Continue reading