Author Archives: muffybolding

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

the enforcer

Knitter PLEASE. ALL Y’ALL whiners need to SHUT THE FUCK UP with your slippers, flyswatters, spatulas, and spoons. You see, the humble wooden spoon was what I used to get from my MOTHER. Conversely, this groovy, vintage, 1960s leather number, … Continue reading

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boy

I cannot believe I get to spend my life with this adorable, adventurous, brilliant, kind, extraordinary boy. Talk about your DUMB LUCKY SLUT. Me and the Babies miss you, Sir! Hurry home to us! Be safe! We love you! ‪#‎cutepiglet‬  … Continue reading

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winter is coming

HOLDING FAST.   #mybagineissweltering #thejeannateisonice #timeforacooterspritzandagranplieoverafloorfan #prayforme

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dog/god

Two of the greatest loves of my life: Miss Pearl and Miss Vivian. They are my Sun…they are my Moon. They are my delight…they are my joy. They are my endless entertainment. They are my CONSTANT FAMILIARS…the secret source of … Continue reading

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bibliana marmelstein

For some occasions…there simply ARE no words. #missviv

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percussive parenting

Don’t mind me. Just currently ordering this delightful t-shirt for myself, my 10 siblings, all three of my children, my VAST legions of nieces and nephews and cousins, and EVERY GOTTDAMNED KID RAISED IN AN ETHNIC HOUSEHOLD. I only had … Continue reading

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cookie

This is the VERY essence of the meaning of life here on earth…distilled into a lovely little word biscuit. A communion wafer of truth. ALL things must pass. The only thing that lives on forever…is love.

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truth

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YEAH, BABY!

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no matter how small

My word, how I adore this lovely monument of gratitude for their ultimate sacrifice. Now we just gotta figure out another way to test our genomes, unguents, potions, lotions, and pills.   THIS IS NOT THE WAY.   #saveALLbabies #kindnessmatters … Continue reading

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