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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

RIP harry crews

Posted on April 2, 2012

“You oughta be terrified of growing old! It’s a motherfucker. What you’ve got to do is to just have no respect for it whatsoever. Cuss it a lot and kick and raise hell. Spit and scratch your ass and do … Continue reading →

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now ear this: SUCK IT

Posted on April 2, 2012

Mother of god. So, once again, crawling out of the “highly offended” woodwork come all the stereotypical holier-than-though bastards, braying like some judgmental Greek Chorus that getting your six month old half-Nicaraguan daughter’s ears pierced at her Miami pediatrician’s office … Continue reading →

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la

Posted on March 19, 2012

“Tip the world over on its side and…everything loose will land in Los Angeles.” — Frank Lloyd Wright I love this fucking city so much — and all the brilliant misfits and miscreants who dwell within her sparkly walls. Los … Continue reading →

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purple haze

Posted on March 12, 2012

My most favorite thing that anybody has ever said to me? I was at a party — flitting about, makin’ nice, talkin’ shit, belly laughing — and about an hour into the shin-dig, a delightful young woman whom I did … Continue reading →

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a boy and his dog

Posted on March 8, 2012

Fact: If a panhandler or busker has a beloved dog lying beside them, I am 100% more likely to toss them some bills. Translation: I AM A DESPICABLE PERSON.

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love

Posted on March 6, 2012

A midday love note — from me…to all the MAGNIFICENT “Confirmed Bachelors” that exuberantly surround me at all times…and assemble — with great affection and distinction — their own wonderful “families”: “Only solitary men know the full joys of friendship. … Continue reading →

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read THIS, motherfuckers

Posted on March 2, 2012

I must respectfully disagree with those Facebookers who are offended by this delightful photo meme (none of whom are actually friends of mine, of course) and are calling it abhorrent, sickening, and cruel. By my way of thinking, jokes can … Continue reading →

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white trash on a red carpet

Posted on March 2, 2012

With Jackie Beat, Selene Luna, and Gregory Babior at The American Idol Finalist Party — playing posh, acting scandalous, scarfing vittles, and taking over the VIP section. Pretty much just generally invading and annoying our betters.

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FUCK. SHIT. UP.

Posted on February 29, 2012

“People are taking the piss out of you everyday. They butt into your life, take a cheap shot at you and then disappear. They leer at you from tall buildings and make you feel small. They make flippant comments from … Continue reading →

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on track

Posted on February 9, 2012

This is my new favorite website — concise, wicked, to the bone. One of the very few I know of that truly speaks to the weary, annoyed, eye-rolling, nostril-flared, cultural loathing that dwells deep within my fat, black little heart: … Continue reading →

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