No, apparently he is alive and well and coming through loud and clear in really cheesy Time-Life music compilations. If there IS a God, may he help us all to survive such mass cultural horrors.
What brought this on is that I just saw a really disturbing commercial that showed all of these creepy teens at various Christian rock concerts — everybody sweaty and glistening with enlightenment…swaying to and fro with their eyes closed (quite apt symbolism there, actually) and their open hands upturned…I guess waiting to be filled with the Holy Spirit, or the riches of the Kingdom of God, or the dick of the pious teen dude standing next to them whilst they bask gloriously in the light of the Lord, or something.
These poor, poor fucks. When they get to the end of their miserable lives and FINALLY realize that THIS is heaven…THIS PLACE IS HEAVEN and that every moment they have the privilege of drawing breath, and eating Mexi-Melts at Taco Bell, and guzzling a really good cup o’ coffee, and arguing politics and literature with their friends, and fucking under a down blanket in the wintertime with old Radiohead on the cd player, and eating Jiffy-Pop and watching old “Young Ones” videos with their kids, and getting a stack of new zines in their PO box, and finding that PERFECT old polyester dress and Ethel Mertz pair of shoes at a thrift store, and the smell of fresh cilantro, Downy fabric softener, and their son’s head — is a gift from the universe…they are gonna be so fucking sorry they pledged to live those precious lives according to the tenets of some miserable, ridiculous, judgemental, inherently evil, NOT-EVEN-ANY-FUN cult of NO-talent meathooks.
By the way, if you’re feeling uninspired and interested in ordering the CD compilation and wanna bask in the light a little yourself, it can be found in the “Worship Together” collection at:
As for me, since I am still neck-deep in moving boxes and Windex cocktails, I shall let the darling Friedrich speak for me on the subject:
“I call Christianity the one great curse, the one great intrinsic depravity, the one great instinct for revenge for which no expedient is sufficiently poisonous, secret, subterranean, petty — I call it the one mortal blemish of mankind.”
–Friedrich Nietzsche
Hear, Hear, Herr Nietzsche!
If you weren’t already long-dead, and rotting and stinking in the earth, I’d blow you for your words of wisdom, Good Sir.
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