I just received an email from Kirby, one of the girlfriends from my lecherous and distant past whom I have held close perhaps longer than any other. She even pre-dates Satania, for chrissake — and trust me, that’s saying something.
Even though my life and Kirby’s seem to have taken very different directions in the past few years (i.e., she goes to church every Sunday and drives a big-ass white SUV with a pair of praying hands on the license plate), I still love her with all my heart.
In our exchange today, the subject turned to parenting (she has three beasties, as well), and what extraordinary people all of our babies are turning out be. Then, her very warm and charming letter ended with the following sentence:
“Who’da thunk a coupla cum-guzzlin-cock-holsters like us could’ve done such a great job raising kids?”
a coupla cum-guzzlin-cock-holsters like us.
Two lessons:
Some things never change.
and
Boy fucking howdy — there is a God, after all.
About muffybolding
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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