BELLY FUCKING LAUGH

This morning the alarm went off, and I gingerly ventured into the lair of The Teenage Girls — and of course, MTV was raging, as it always is in the morning when they are getting ready for school. As I was gently rolling the covers off the 13 year old and whispering in her ear, “Wake up, Baby Goat…the world awaits your beauty!”, I happened to notice a video out of the corner of my eye. I was informed by the 17 year old that it was some hip hop dude named Petey Pablo. As I gently rubbed the thonged butt of the Baby Goat in an attempt to bring her back to this particular realm of consciousness, I watched the video unfold. It appeared to be your typical, run-of-the-mill hip hop sort of video — dudes hangin’ in the ‘hood and so on and so forth.

And then…I saw it.

Rolling in from offscreen was yet another stereotypical hip hop guy…except this one was in a wheelchair. As I patted tiny goat bottom, I remember thinking, “Now, that is fucking COOL…to have a disabled guy in your hip hop video and to portray him as just one of the guys — with no differentiation at all. As it should be.”

And then my eyes slowly scanned down the screen…and it took a second to fully register what I was seeing: On the wheels of the wheelchair…WERE MOTHERFUCKING SPINNERS. You know, those spinning chrome discs that double as wheel rims on the bling mobiles; the ones that keep spinning, even when the vehicle has come to a complete stop?

I tell you, when I saw that, I very nearly fell onto the ground I was belly laughing so hard. The baby goat even popped her drowzy head up to see what in hell was going on with her hysterically cackling mother.

Spinners on a wheelchair. I ask you — how fucking GENIUS is that?

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

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