reader’s digest version

I am working in LA several days a week — writing scripts that will air on the Disney Channel at the end of October. My darling babies will be extras in a big Halloween party scene. Look for the cutest babies ever — and those will be mine.

I am growing out my bangs — and aside from a menacing scimitar shoved savagely up one’s ass…there is nothing more torturous. Bobby pins and self-loathing are my constant companions.

Through sheer force of will and desire, I am getting my blood sugars under some semblance of control. My first visit with Mr. World Famous Nutritionist Who Specializes in Diabetic Magic is scheduled for next month. I am beside myself with hope. Oh, and I started yoga classes on the island last week. Absolutely loved it. Now to do something about this toad-belly I am sportin’.

It is officially official: and I are doing a series of readings in November for the book, “Mamaphonic; Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts”. I pity the fool in the Eastern Seaboard who misses our traveling caravan of psychotic eccentricities and charming skullduggery. Picture me and Bee…in a rental car…sauntering throughout the Northeast…listening to old Johnny Cash and June Carter tapes and stopping at bookstores and thriftstores wherever they may be. We’re goin’ back to Jackson. Yeah. Dates and venues to be announced.

I bought a Wednesday Fucking Addams dress just for the occasion. Now I just need a headless doll to complete my timeless ensemble — oh, and a tight whack o’ thorazine for thinking I can pull it off in the first place. Fuck propriety, I say.

I am still desperately in love with my husband. You should see him in his new penny loafers and old khakis — he looks like Willie Wonka does Kerouac. And his hands smell like soy sauce — always. Be still my freakish heart.

To all my LJ homies — even in the glorious and unimagineable madness that is my life right now…please know that although I am not able to post or comment much, rest assured that I am still reading. And missing you all.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

View all posts by muffybolding →