Last Summer, I went to a costume party in L.A. dressed, along with my best friend and writing partner, Billy, like a couple of fab diesel dyke twins named Connie and Sandy Culpepper — complete with plaid Pendleton shirts, Billie Jean King eyeglasses, and deliciously wicked mullets (purchased from Hollywood Wigs.) The best part was, I TOTALLY fucking committed to the character for the duration of the shindig — and kicked ass on everyone and anyone who got in my way. It was an utter blast, and that I got loads of belly laughs in the process was truly the best part of the experience.

Or so I thought.

It seems that there were two television producers at said party, who apparently remembered me and my oh, so creamy feigned butchness. They called me last week to ask if I would reprise the role of Sandy on the pilot for a series they are developing for Here! — the nation’s first gay and lesbian premium television network (http://www.heretv.com). A rather minor part, to be sure (the stage manager for a hilarious talk show featuring a chubby Latina drag queen named Chi-Chi as the hostess) — but one that sounds like it would be just about right for me schedule-wise.

We shoot it on Friday.

Wish me luck, motherfuckers — or I’ll snap on my knee brace, jump into my Subaru, crank up some Etheridge, and drive over and beat yer fuckin’ asses into next week.