my weekend

Posted on July 18, 2005 by muffybolding

1) Went to the premiere of Rob Zombie’s new horror flick, “The Devil’s Rejects.” Goddamn, that movie was fucking NO. But for the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Zombie and all of the assembled cast and crew were in the audience with us, I would’ve walked my fatass out about ten minutes into it for a coffee and a tight slam o’ smack. Some marvelously inspired casting and some pretty damned impressive acting all in a frighteningly derivative, piece of horseshit film. Suffice it to say, as we were dressed like insane homeless people living under an overpass on the 163, we RAN the red carpet. You can kiss my ass E! I needed to hurry so I could get in line ahead of Deborah Van Valkenburgh and Priscilla Barnes for my large popcone and Diet Coke — both actors who totally ruled in the movie, by the way.

2) Went to Comic-Con: the largest assemblage of comic book fans and artists on the planet. Also, the largest assemblage of fat chicks in Xena costumes — they were COMPLETELY BRILLIANT! They didn’t give a FUCK about their hangin’ guts or their rotund asses or their back fat oozing out of their black leather warrior princess get-ups — they looked HOT, and they knew it. I wanted to stop and hug each and every one of them for the HUGE FUCKING OVARIES it takes to proudly strut about, LARGE AND IN CHARGE, in a society as fat-phobic as our own. I raise my french roast to you ladies — you made my weekend.

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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