Britney Spears stumbled on her way out of her hotel on Thursday afternoon while trying to make her way through a throng of paparazzi and onlookers. She was juggling a glass in one hand and baby Sean in the other and nearly dropped her son during the stumble. TMZ is reporting that the pop star was heard to say, “This is why I need a gun,” after the incident.
Yeah…but she didn’t spill a single drop of her Mountain Dew, now did she, goddamnit?
Oh, and don’t forget to gaze with horror upon his little hat turned to the side, just like his rotten, trashy, worthless, piece ‘o shit father.
Please, I am begging someone to get this ignorant, unfortunate young mama a fucking mothering mentor as soon as possible — before she kills this poor child.




About muffybolding
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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