what happens in lost wages, stays in lost wages

Well, we are here. CES 2007 in beautiful downtown Lost Wages, Nevada! It annoys Gregory like mad everytime I call it Lost Wages, so I have to try and fit it in as much as I possibly can, gottddamnit.

People who seriously refer to this town as “Lost Wages” — aside from those of us who are merely taking great delight in annoying their cute spouses — are the same people who call Montgomery Wards, “Monkey Wards”.

The same ones, when you ask them the time, answer, “Half past a monkey’s ass, a quarter to his balls.”

The same ones who, when you ask them, “Is today Saturday?”, always oh, so cleverly respond with, “Yes. All day.

God, I hate those bastards.

So, here we are — at the greatest technology showcase on the planet…in Lost Wages, the city that is the greatest spectacle on earth. And Gregory looks extra adorable right now. And there is nary a kid in sight. And I am ovulating.

Let the debauchery begin!

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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