You are in a mall when zombies attack. You have:
1. One weapon.
2. One song blasting on the speakers.
3. One famous person to fight beside you.
Weapon may be real or fictional; you may assume endless ammo is applicable; the person may be real or fictional.
My answers:
1. My rapier-like wit.
2. Back in the New York Groove by Ace Frehley. No reason; it just makes me want to kick some motherlovin’ zombie ass.
3. George Carlin; together we’d motherfuck ‘em all into oblivion. I’ll bet you didn’t know it, but much like the bouffant-covered craniums of sanctimonious Republican housewives with Xanax breath and parched labia, zombie heads instantaneously explode when they hear the phrase “cum-guzzling cock holster” used in a sentence. Take that, worthless undead scum!
About muffybolding
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
muffy bolding 