And speaking about hair…every bastard in this country with thinning hair and a receding hairline needs to get down on his knees and thank the baby jesus for the ONE MAN who made it not only okay to lose your hair…but made it so that it’s BUTCH to go bald: Bruce Motherfucking Willis. Because of him, men no longer gotta sport nasty comb-overs. When it starts to go, YOU JUST SHAVE THAT SHIT OFF. Acknowledge, boys!
And for those who have suggested various other names…Yul Brynner and Sean Connery don’t count. I’m not sure Yul actually shaved his because he was losing his hair — or just because he thought it made him look like a BOSS MOTHERFUCKIN’ GENIE.
WHICH IT DID.
Sean is ol’ school — all those boys back then had short hair, so his wasn’t necessarily a statement, just de rigueur for the times. Vin Diesel came MUCH later. He could actually be counted among those who benefited from Willis’ hairless aplomb. And you know, I might actually be talked into giving ol’ Eddie Harris some props in the matter but mainly because I SHO WOULD LIKE HIM TO SLAP MY FACE, PULL MY HAIR, AND CALL ME A DIRTY WHORE. But then, that’s just me.
About muffybolding
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
muffy bolding 