Whenever I have the chance to visit with my VAST LEGIONS of darling and delightful nieces and nephews (whose sheer numbers — because of my 8 prolific, fuckmachine siblings — are truly like cockroaches), they always stampede up in a great sweep and hug me and kiss me and swirl all around me, laughing and chattering away with statements like, “You were SO funny on the Disney Channel, Aunt Nay Nay!”, “Your dress looks like a witch dress, Aunt Nay Nay!”, “Do you have any MAC makeup you don’t want, Aunt Nay Nay?” (always asked by my festive nephew, Alex), “Your fat tummy looks like you are going to have a baby, Aunt Nay Nay!”, and my VERY favorite pronouncement — which they ALWAYS SAY, with so much pride and love you wouldn’t even believe it — “Aunt Nay Nay…we were watching School of Rock last night and you remind us EXACTLY of Jack Black!”
Goddamn, I love those fucking babies.
About muffybolding
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
muffy bolding 