Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

dame on flim

My fave movies of the past decade? “Little Miss Sunshine” and “Slumdog Millionaire” — two films that felt “small”…and yet both made my spirit soar. As I sat in a dark theatre watching them, I recall looking at the delighted, … Continue reading

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band geeks CAN FUCK

This is the astounding circus punk marching band, Mucca Pazza. They are all old band geeks who get together and tour the country and TURN THAT SHIT OUT. The next time these awesome motherfuckers come to LA, I am SO … Continue reading

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truth

The world is a poorer, much less interesting place without Johnny Cash in it.

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i’ll be back again and again and again and again…

One of my favorite songs of all time and one that I have requested be played at my bacchanalia/wake when my fatass finally exits-stage-left for scandalous and delightful regions beyond. I AM a highwayman. “I fly a starship across the … Continue reading

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cacada

Last month I saw The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and, I gotta tell you, it was in the TOP FIVE WORST FILMS I HAVE EVER SEEN — and trust me, I have seem some bad fucking movies. Aside from the … Continue reading

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keep stirring the sauce!

Last month, the BIG Texas-Alabama game was played like five seconds from my house and all day there were noisy goddamned news choppers following me EVERYWHERE…vast, humming, rotating legions of ’em. It was like Goodfellas up in this motherfucker — … Continue reading

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spooooon

OH, YEAH. Spoon’s “Cherry Bomb” is my fucking groove for the day. Christ, when those horns come in, it’s like touching the face of god. I wish you could see my fatass snaking and strutting around this goddamned room right … Continue reading

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pat and rush can suck my dick

You wanna know “What Jesus Would Do”? Jesus would tuck his greasy, girlish bouffant behind his ears, jauntily lift the front of his stinking, homespun robes, get a good running start, and kick both Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh right … Continue reading

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black, white, and blue

“When I think about my relationship with America, I feel like a battered wife: Yeah, he knocks me around a lot, but boy, he sure can dance.” — Sarah Vowell, Take the Cannoli: Stories from the New World

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true dat

Muffy Bolding is eatin’ chili dogs and lettin’ shit slide.

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