Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

requiescat in pace

Hands down, the best and wisest advice I ever got was from my fabulous, scandalous Sicilian granny, Rose: “Honey, go and sit in the car when you pluck your chin; the light is better out there.”

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COMPLETELY ON TRACK

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notes

A really marvelous, interesting, and inspiring piece on where the music industry is headed — BACK INTO THE HANDS OF THE MUSICIANS, motherfuckers. According to the amazing Amanda Palmer of The Dresden Dolls, “Everyone has to stop thinking there is … Continue reading

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moisture

My passionate love affair with the Kinks continues. “Powerman” makes me weep — perhaps because it reminds me so much of the music that my brilliant husband makes. Methinks I really do need to kiss his lippies.

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MAKING ME MOIST

Miniature knitter!

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truth

Life is FAR too short to use cheap, shitty yarn.

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truth

To all you right wing pricks whining that Obama hasn’t fixed us up all nice yet: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU. It took your boy, Bush, 8 years of ass-raping us with no lube to get us where we are in the first … Continue reading

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truth

To all my crunchy, tie-dyed, big-bushed, hairy-armpitted, patchouli-reeking comrades out there — and god knows there are many: I love you and admire your commitment to protecting the earth, but GOOD GODDAMN…all your hippie household cleaning products don’t work FOR … Continue reading

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T&D

I fall in love with the heads of dead men and poets.

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truth

“As I get older, I just prefer to knit.” — Tracey Ullman

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