Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

williamsburg

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

The only thing that could possibly make me love this video anymore than I do is if my darling niece and nephew were in it. Oh. They are. Hipster 101 Buttons strung across your chest on the strap of your … Continue reading →

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tambourine

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

“Festive Nephew” is the name of my new band.

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truth

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

My problem with the dethroned Miss California, Carrie Prejean, is not that she’s a whore — ALL OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE SHAMELESS WHORES, MYSELF INCLUDED. My problem with her is that she’s a phony, sanctimonious, self-righteous, fascist, ignorant, intolerant … Continue reading →

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MAC, betch

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

My talented and hilarious teenage nephew, Alex, is, in fact, SO FESTIVE that one day about 12 years ago I patted him down at the door after a visit at my house AND FOUND THREE OF MY MAC EYESHADOWS AND … Continue reading →

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bite me

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

I think that Beverly D’Angelo has the sexiest overbite on the planet and if I ever made the decision to chase dames, she would be my number one with a magic bullet.

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shoes, betch

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

My wicked funny and much-beloved teenage nephew, Alex, is, in fact, SO FESTIVE, that the same Christmas his cousins, Julian, Hunter, and Chase, asked for Gameboys and Star Wars Legos sets, Alex asked for Jimmy Choo pumps and a motherfucking … Continue reading →

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demonica

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Because she is so extraordinarily intelligent, well-spoken, and liberated, it makes me suspect that Ann Coulter must be paid a WHOLE LOTTA SIMOLIANS BY SOMEBODY to do what she does and say what she says…BECAUSE THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY … Continue reading →

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dingbat

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Even though she has never defended the rights — reproductive or otherwise — of myself, my sisters, my daughters, my girlfriends, and even the rights of her own two daughters…I will proudly stand up and defend to the death the … Continue reading →

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eddie and the cruisers goes ape

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Michael Pare’ expertly and graciously doing the Monkeyface for me on the set of “Furnace”, Old Nashville State Prison, February, 2006: So fucking ALL.

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dottie

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

I write doodads…because it’s a doodad kind of town.

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