Author Archives: muffybolding

Unknown's avatar

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

truth

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

To paraphrase the words of the brilliant Doug Stanhope: Why would you want to wash away your sins? YOUR SINS ARE THE MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

i like to keep it real spooky

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Apparently, the Charlie Band movie we shot in a genuinely haunted Italian castle earlier this year — ‘DEMONIC TOYS 2: PERSONAL DEMONS”, directed by the amazing William Butler — is now available on iTunes to buy or rent! Get your … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

an announcement from the pole position

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

“Chewbacca Buffet” is my new stripper name.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

big men in the boat

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Sometime last year, I happened upon a story about the Discovery Channel reality show <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadliest_Catch”>Deadliest Catch, which just recently aired its 5th season series premiere. Gregory and the babies and I LIVE for dragging out some cozy blankets, poppin’ … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

the worst post i have ever had to write

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

I have now gotten more than a few requests asking me if I might re-post this blog entry that I originally made elsewhere on February 25, 2007 — on what was honestly one of the darkest, most painful, most horrific … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

it’s like looking in a mirror, for chrissake

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

I’m sorry to gloat here, but I just really, really feel the need to say the following: Just exactly how awesome is it that the sexiest bastard on the entire planet — Clive Owen — is married to a broad … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

mmmmmmm…

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things…nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person you ganked this from had the same first initial. … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

befuddled

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

My, my, my…it looks like those good ol’ fashioned Republican Family Values shall triumph once again. The interesting part about this announcement that he and his wife are divorcing is that all this time…I thought Karl Rove was a dirty … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

from the archives: "bravo, charlie simic!"

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

From August, 2007: It was announced today that one of my favorite living poets, Charles Simic, was named the 15th poet laureate of the United States by the Librarian of Congress. Speaking as a writer and a poetry fanatic, I … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

fave movies

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

My fave movies of the past decade? “Little Miss Sunshine” and “Slumdog Millionaire” — 2 films that felt “small”…and yet both made my spirit soar. As I sat in a dark theatre watching them, I recall looking at the delighted, … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment