Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

more meme fuckery

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

a) List ten habits/quirks/facts about yourselfb) Tag ten people to do the samec) Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag “whoever wants to do it”d) Fuck “C”; “C” is not the boss of me. … Continue reading →

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groove

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

OH, YEAH. This is my fucking groove for the day. Christ, when those horns come in, it’s like touching the face of god. I wish you could see my fatass snaking and strutting around this goddamned room right now — … Continue reading →

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the rich

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

“Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft where we are hard, and cynical where we are trustful, in … Continue reading →

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from the archives: a recap of 2007

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Me and my sister, Mo. She is a club lady. I am a hooker. 1.What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? Lost an ovary and lost a sister. 2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, … Continue reading →

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requiescat in pace

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

In remembrance of a mama who loved her baby enough to BREAK IT DOWN FOR A MOTHERFUCKER: In his autobiography, Joe Biden recalled being mocked by a 7th grade nun for his stuttering, an incident that sent his mother to … Continue reading →

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more nonsense from the archives

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Ten Weird Facts About Me 1) I have never, ever been bitten by a mosquito. I don’t really know what the deal is, but apparently they just don’t like the taste of my fatass. Pity. With a little gravy and … Continue reading →

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more past memery, AKA the transblogrification continues

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship? I am currently in a hilarious relationship. 2) What was your dream growing up? Gosh, first and foremost, as the oldest girl in a family of nine kids, I suppose it was … Continue reading →

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WWJD?

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

You wanna know “What Jesus Would Do”? Jesus would tuck his greasy, girlish bouffant behind his ears, jauntily lift the front of his stinking, homespun robes, get a good running start, and kick both Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh right … Continue reading →

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yeah, man!

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

“When I think about my relationship with America, I feel like a battered wife: Yeah, he knocks me around a lot, but boy, he sure can dance.” — Sarah Vowell, Take the Cannoli: Stories from the New World

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shoes, betch.

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

One of my girlfriends recently told me that some of her co-workers have been whining and raising hell and saying these little baby booties are just “so wrong”, in addition to countless online message boards that echo their sentiments — … Continue reading →

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