Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

The Who/What Created Me Meme

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

For each of the following categories… write in which one thing had the biggest influence in making you who you are today: (I can never ever answer just one thing…so indulge me.) Book: The Journals of Sylvia Plath and Europe … Continue reading →

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the significant other meme!

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

My One True Love in a $7 cowboy hat and a plain white T. Be still my wicked heart!: Hey, kids, it’s time once again for “The Significant Other Meme”! I totally loved doing this one — because it’s all … Continue reading →

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OH, YEAH!

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Watching the violence and carnage of a broad giving birth is like standing at the foot of her cooter and shouting, “HEY, KOOL-AID!” — Doug Stanhope

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having the flu with nothing else to do

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

I read a book about John Dos Passos and according tothe book once radical-communistJohn ended up in the Hollywood Hills living off investmentsand reading theWall Street Journal this seems to happen all too often. what hardly ever happens isa man … Continue reading →

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uncle pete

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

My Great Uncle Pete was a pretty famous Western painter and rodeo cowboy in the earlier part of the 20th Century, and his ever-present paintings provided some of the mightiest and most memorable images of my childhood. He worked out … Continue reading →

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eye of the tiger

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

The quote I have printed up in a delightfully large font and scotch-taped to the front of our microwave for my children and all the world to see as they warm up their corndogs and Trader Joe’s frozen burritos — … Continue reading →

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from the archives: halloween, 2006

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

So, last Saturday night we had our massive, annual Halloween bash at a very cool new club downtown: The Edison Bar. It’s located in the ancient brick bowels of a gorgeous old building in a space that used to be … Continue reading →

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two size queens; halloween, 2006

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

Two sides of the same coin; Billy and I at The Night of a 1000 Villains Halloween Party, 2006, Los Angeles. Christ, I just can’t get off that goddamned Blackberry, can I?

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the mirror has many faces

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

The funny part about this latest Facebook meme making the rounds (making one’s profile pic a fictional character that you feel best represents your personality) is that even though I am absolutely convinced I am either the bawdy, brazen, outrageous … Continue reading →

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smooooth coot

Posted on January 23, 2010 by muffybolding

There is not person ONE under the age of 30 in this entire gottdamned country who’s got a single motherloving pube on their cooter — NOT A SINGLE ONE. And yes, I’m talking about YOUR born-again-hard, purity-ring-wearing teenage daughter, too, … Continue reading →

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