Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

sacred ground

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Shiver me fuckin’ timbers. Library AND Miniature? The only thing that could possibly make this more awesome is if Miss Pearlie Mae and Miss Vivian popped their darling, fuzzy heads out the windows. Libris! Minius! Caninus! INVICTUS! ‪#‎workspacebookbirth‬  ‪#‎whatheavensmellslike‬

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THIS

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding
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fuck it

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

FUCK THE SYSTEM. I GOT MY OWN SYSTEM.

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THIS

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

“A writer’s job is to get naked, to hide nothing, to look away from nothing, to look at it. To not blink, to not be embarrassed by it or ashamed of it. Strip it down and let’s get to where … Continue reading →

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harry

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

“You oughta be terrified of growing old! It’s a motherfucker. What you’ve got to do is to just have no respect for it whatsoever. Cuss it a lot and kick and raise hell. Spit and scratch your ass and do … Continue reading →

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gladys

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

The name of my new band is “Fatter Than Gladys”…which came about because when I was a kid I always used to think Elvis’ mother was a massive fattie — like, seriously, along with Mama Cass, the motherloving awesome GOLD … Continue reading →

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saint joan

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

A woman from the audience asked, ‘Why were there so few women among the beat writers?’ — and Gregory Corso, suddenly utterly serious, leans forward and says, ‘There were women, they were there. I knew them…their families put them in … Continue reading →

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anne

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Her Kind I have gone out, a possessed witch, haunting the black air, braver at night; dreaming evil, I have done my hitch over the plain houses, light by light: lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind. A woman like that … Continue reading →

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pray

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

Yes, All Mein Poppets of Good Conscience…I beseech you to gather together, join hands, and fervently pray for my haters with all of your might. Send unto them both love and light. ‪#‎nahnotreally‬ ‪#‎imjustfuckinwitcha‬ ‪#‎fuckemall‬  ‪#‎shortfatandfuckintall‬

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handie

Posted on April 12, 2016 by muffybolding

THIS. ‪#‎yeahchuckleitupmotherfuckerimnotjoking‬ ‪#‎passthebengaybitches‬ ‪#‎nottomentionallthefresnobitcheswhowasgivinhandiesinthecarrightnexttomewhenwewere16‬ ‪#‎inthebackrowatwoodwardparkdrivein‬ ‪#‎fresnobitcheswhoarenowallthefuckingsuddengoodchristianwomen‬ ‪#‎yeahthatsrightiseeyouoverthereinthecornershakininyourgoldplatedcrossnecklace‬ ‪#‎andyournudehoseandsensiblepumps‬ ‪#‎yesyou‬ ‪#‎trustmeespeciallyyou‬ ‪#‎iwantfiddydollasandacaseofcoolranchnachocheesecommunionwafersbeforecloseofbidnesstomorrow‬ ‪#‎orimastartnaminnamesbitches‬ ‪#‎thatisall‬

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