Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

no woman

Posted on December 21, 2010 by muffybolding

Before she died, Elizabeth Edwards — long a bold and fearless advocate for the poor, disenfranchised, and forgotten — revealed that she’d remained married to a man who betrayed her, lied to her, and publicly humiliated both herself and her … Continue reading →

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creatures ’round the tree

Posted on December 19, 2010 by muffybolding

Muffy and The Baby Goat, mulling the be-all and end-all choice of which magical Christmas tree to both adorn and adore, December 2010.

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luck

Posted on December 19, 2010 by muffybolding

Sometimes I can’t believe that I get to know you brilliant, interesting people — to work with you, dream with you, laugh with you, be welcomed into your homes, be trusted with your secrets, to celebrate your successes as well … Continue reading →

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dolls

Posted on December 19, 2010 by muffybolding

Oh, and speaking about DOS BOSS CHIHUAHUAS…it just hit me: If our fuzzy little Necco Wafers were characters in “Valley of the Dolls”, Frances (The Elegant Debutante) would be Miss Anne Welles…and Pearl (The Feisty Can Can Dancer) would be … Continue reading →

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brain

Posted on December 19, 2010 by muffybolding

I just leaned over and, out of nowhere, announced to my darling husband the latest random thought running through my head: “Hey, sweet piglet, I have the name of our new band: DOS BOSS CHIHUAHUAS.” He actually belly laughed out … Continue reading →

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think twice

Posted on December 19, 2010 by muffybolding

I am sitting here on the bed drinking coffee, listening to the rain, and knitting on my latest, inspired fibre creation. Gregory is next to me, typing furiously on a game of Weboggle, every cell in his body rising up … Continue reading →

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with gratitude

Posted on December 15, 2010 by muffybolding

Many thanks to my very good friend, Miss Becky Thyre, for coming up with the title of my upcoming memoir: The Booze, The Stench, and The Knife: The Muffy Bolding Story. May it be a bestseller, Miss Becky!

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llllllllllllllllll

Posted on December 15, 2010 by muffybolding

Now that I’ve had my salad, my medication, and my second cup of coffee, I’ve spent some real quality time knitting and really thinking about it…and, you know, I wouldn’t mind bangin’ around with both Billy Clinton AND Barry Obama … Continue reading →

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dear jon

Posted on December 15, 2010 by muffybolding

Jon Stewart is the last honest man in America — and given my infamous penchant for and fetishization of brilliant Jew Boys…man, I’d SURE like to nail him. Let me be your GOY TOY…

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mo

Posted on December 14, 2010 by muffybolding

From as far back as can be traced in the shiftless wreckage that is my ancestry, my kin have all been scrappers, grifters, rogues, and thieves. We tend to sport BILLY CLUBS or even an ACE OF CLUBS — not … Continue reading →

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