Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

w/bff

Posted on October 22, 2010 by muffybolding

Despite the fact that he was hideous, reprehensible, and shamelessly malfeasant during his two terms as president, of the following I have very little doubt: That it would be a goddamned blast to hang with George W. Bush for a … Continue reading →

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truth. mine — and my friends’.

Posted on October 22, 2010 by muffybolding

To all those judgmental bastards who are contemptuous and disdainful of my friends, i.e., the queers, queens, artists, painters, cartoonists, writers, singers, musicians, film makers, actors, dancers, fashion designers, game designers, producers, publishers, hookers, et al…I say this: Disapprove all … Continue reading →

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"i’m sorry i didn’t build you a better boat, young jackie…"

Posted on October 21, 2010 by muffybolding

My awesome friend, Drag Superstar Miss Jackie Beat, is currently performing on a gay cruise somewhere in the Pacific…and when she left, I posted the following on her Facebook wall: “Honey, when that fucking garbage scow starts to go under … Continue reading →

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truth. gilda’s.

Posted on October 20, 2010 by muffybolding

“I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.” — Gilda Radner

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join me, won’t you?

Posted on October 19, 2010 by muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is takin’ a SLOW BOAT TO CAYUCOS.

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truth. roseanne’s. and now mine, too.

Posted on October 18, 2010 by muffybolding

If I were ever asked to come up with a single-line manifesto for how it is that I choose to live my life…this would be it. This brilliant, ballsy, extraordinary, self-created broad is an absolute inspiration to me, and I … Continue reading →

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truth. emo’s.

Posted on October 17, 2010 by muffybolding

As I sit here in my favorite Target schmata, guzzling a cup of TRULY amazing coffee on this gloriously wet and gloomy Sunday morning — Gregory and the beloved pups still asleep on the bed beside me — I am … Continue reading →

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truth. artie’s.

Posted on October 16, 2010 by muffybolding

“I called to the executioners that I might gnaw their rifle-butts while dying.” — Arthur Rimbaud

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muffy and mikie sittin’ in a tree

Posted on October 16, 2010 by muffybolding

I’m madly in love with Michael Gross. There, I said it, motherfuckers. Oh…and I also said “motherfuckers” — which, apparently, he finds endlessly amusing…which further means that I shall sashay about shouting it from the rooftops of the world until … Continue reading →

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papa DOUCHE

Posted on October 16, 2010 by muffybolding

FUCK Ernest Hemingway. I hate him SO goddamned much for how he treated Scott Fitzgerald. He was such a smug, cruel, sadistic, histrionic, LATENT fucking meathook, that to this day, I can’t read his work without becoming highly hostile. Yeah…I … Continue reading →

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