Author Archives: muffybolding

And THIS, my not-so-gentle readers, is supposed to be the very best of the best that we got to offer. Like I’ve been saying for the past 15 years or so — and believe me, as a poet and an … Continue reading →

“Remember one thing: Talent always rises.” — Joan Rivers

Muffy Formspring Question: “What’s the best thing about your job?” Not having to change out of my pajamas or wash my vagina before work. SO CHOICE. Interrogate a Hooker. Don’t cost nothin’.

Muffy Formspring Question: Is the clam bald, Hitler or 70’s porn? You know, I trim that shit up as best I can considering MY GUNT IS AN OUTRAGE. Interrogate a Hooker. Don’t cost nothin’.

Muffy Formspring Question: “Do you go to garage sales?” Funny you should axe this question, as, next to knitting, schtupping, reading, writing, traveling, and making movies, going to garage sales and thrift stores is just about my favorite thing in … Continue reading →

Muffy Formspring Question: “What is the one thing your mother taught you that you actually still use to this day?” My mother taught me how to properly fold the shit out of a bath towel. There’s actually both an art … Continue reading →

Language is constantly being morphed and created just to keep up with the rapid advancement of technology with which we live, i.e., we now have objects and experiences that didn’t exist even 20 years ago. To wit…when you are in … Continue reading →

Can someone please, please help me dig up David Foster Wallace’s brain? ‘Cause I REALLY wanna make out with it. I’d like to hacksaw the top off his brilliant, adorable skullcap and eat his goddamned brains like Cap’n Crunch with … Continue reading →

THE VERY ESSENCE OF ON TRACK.

When I was a little girl, I thought the first line of this song was, “Oh, Nimbus…” — which begs not only the question of why I thought this song was about a saint — but HOW IN THE FUCK … Continue reading →