Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

In my opinion, the “Sicilian” scene between Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken in “True Romance” might just be the greatest 10 minutes ever committed to film and for that, I thank him for his brilliance. With that said…FUCK DENNIS HOPPER. … Continue reading →

Let me tell you who I am. I am NOT the hot 23 year old with the titties and ass that go POW! whom you take to the party and then go home with afterward and fuck into next week. … Continue reading →

I am sure if I researched it a bit, I would absolutely discover that this SHAMELESS Fat Armenian Chain Smoking Toddler is somehow related to my fatass. THIS IS SO MY GODDAMNED FAMILY, I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU.

Bret Easton Ellis can SUCK MY DICK.

Absurd Muff Fact #663: While we were shooting a movie in Nashville a few years ago, my best friend, Billy, talked me into doing an exuberant Underpants Chicken Dance to and fro in our room — TOPLESS…wearing only white granny … Continue reading →

Some things just need to be left inside your fucking head. Some things should remain in the past. Some things lose their beauty when brought out into the light for inspection. Some things are the domain of dreams for good … Continue reading →

“I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conforming to my own taste.” — Marcel Duchamp

From http://www.formspring.me/muffybolding: “What flavor is your vagina?” Well, first of all, thank you so much for such a thoughtful and intelligent question, Anonymous. My vagina is flavored with the tears, subjugation, oppression, and patriarchal rule of 10,000 years. Oh, no … Continue reading →

The Food Network is like the best goddamned thing on tv, especially that brilliant old queen Alton Brown — LOVE HIM. He is like a physicist, an historian, a game show host, a master chef, a belly laugher, a favorite … Continue reading →

Absurd Muff Fact #772: Come every lovely and fertile Springtime, whenever I happen to saunter past one of the flowering, olfactorially-triggering plant kingdom behemoths that I affectionately refer to as a “Load Tree”…I will actually experience a prom night flashback … Continue reading →