Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

“When I think about my relationship with America, I feel like a battered wife: Yeah, he knocks me around a lot, but boy, he sure can dance.” — Sarah Vowell, “Take the Cannoli: Stories from the New World”

Always remember and don’t ever forget, my darling poppets: Men of science walked on the moon; men of faith stole airplanes and flew them into buildings.

I was just lamenting to my teenage son, Otis, about what an utter crock of horseshit it is that he needs my fatass to take him to GameStop to get his latest coveted video game — Brutal Legend — because … Continue reading →

“May all that have life be delivered from suffering.” — Gautama Buddha

To all my LA and New York pipples: If you do anything at all tonight, get your fatasses down to either The Laemmle’s 5 on Sunset or The IFC Center on Avenue of the Americas — and starting April 16th … Continue reading →

Whenever I have the chance to visit with my VAST LEGIONS of darling and delightful nieces and nephews (whose sheer numbers — because of my 8 prolific, fuckmachine siblings — are truly like cockroaches), they always stampede up in a … Continue reading →

“What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.” — Mark Twain

If you knit or crochet…PLEASE consider donating your time, talents, yarn, and heart to this AWESOME project: making small security blankets to provide both physical and psychological comfort to shelter animals while they wait to be picked up, rescued, or … Continue reading →

I don’t care what anybody says — not only do I think that Buddy Holly was DEAD SEXY…I THINK HE COULD FUCK, as well. Look at that face and look at that stance. I’m telling you, that is NOT the … Continue reading →

“I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it.” — William S. Burroughs