Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

“Squat and Cough” is the name of my new band.

“Motivating millionaires.” – Los Angeles Lakers coach Phil Jackson, when asked what is the hardest part of his job.

A most thoughtful product to help minimize the existential shame that your dog undoubtedly feels over his or her unsightly butthole. (YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS.) Bringing BUTTHOLE Back

Aside from ol’ Christina Onassis, have you ever noticed that wealthy, socialite-type women are NEVER fatasses? And further, the ones that are usually die young — not of heart disease or diabetes like the rest of us filth — but … Continue reading →

I am now going to invoke two little words that, when spoken together, will mean absolutely nothing to the boys out there — but will strike ABSOLUTE TERROR into the heart of anyone in possession of a cooter. Two words: … Continue reading →

For those trifling over the parameters of Generation X (a term that was popularized in modern usage by one Douglas Coupland, who was born in 1961), I have come up with a fool-proof method. Even though researchers generally agree that … Continue reading →

Gosh, it just now hit me; how bizarre is it that in my over 25 years as a Women’s Rights activist, the ONLY person I have ever known who actually used abortion as a form of birth control…was a Conservative … Continue reading →

I’ve been stomping around with my granny panties in a wad, asking this same question for months: Where in the FUCK were all these tea-bagging patriots when we were getting ASS RAPED WITH NO LUBE by the Bush administration for … Continue reading →

And speaking of online debauchery…there was the SENSIBLE TAUPE PUMP GUY — and then there was the I AM OBSESSED WITH YOUR THIGH MUSCLES GUY. Whereas STPG just wanted me to pretend I was stuck in the mud and frantically … Continue reading →

You know, I feel genuine compassion for the fact that he is now an old man suffering and dying of prostate cancer…but I just gotta say: FUCK DENNIS HOPPER. How in the LOVING FUCK do you go from EASY RIDER … Continue reading →