Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

The only thing that could possibly make me love this video anymore than I do is if my darling niece and nephew were in it. Oh. They are. Hipster 101 Buttons strung across your chest on the strap of your … Continue reading →

My problem with the dethroned Miss California, Carrie Prejean, is not that she’s a whore — ALL OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE SHAMELESS WHORES, MYSELF INCLUDED. My problem with her is that she’s a phony, sanctimonious, self-righteous, fascist, ignorant, intolerant … Continue reading →

“Festive Nephew” is the name of my new band.

My talented and hilarious teenage nephew, Alex, is, in fact, SO FESTIVE that one day about 12 years ago I patted him down at the door after a visit at my house AND FOUND THREE OF MY MAC EYESHADOWS AND … Continue reading →

I think that Beverly D’Angelo has the sexiest overbite on the planet and if I ever made the decision to chase dames, she would be my number one with a magic bullet.

My wicked funny and much-beloved teenage nephew, Alex, is, in fact, SO FESTIVE, that the same Christmas his cousins, Julian, Hunter, and Chase, asked for Gameboys and Star Wars Legos sets, Alex asked for Jimmy Choo pumps and a motherfucking … Continue reading →

Because she is so extraordinarily intelligent, well-spoken, and liberated, it makes me suspect that Ann Coulter must be paid a WHOLE LOTTA SIMOLIANS BY SOMEBODY to do what she does and say what she says…BECAUSE THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY … Continue reading →

Even though she has never defended the rights — reproductive or otherwise — of myself, my sisters, my daughters, my girlfriends, and even the rights of her own two daughters…I will proudly stand up and defend to the death the … Continue reading →

Michael Pare’ expertly and graciously doing the Monkeyface for me on the set of “Furnace”, Old Nashville State Prison, February, 2006: So fucking ALL.

I write doodads…because it’s a doodad kind of town.