As a rabid and LONG TIME collector of PEZ dispensers — I have WELL over 500 — I must say that this awesome menorah, cleverly fashioned from the recent Star Wars collectors set, makes me downright moist.
As a child, I fervently believed that Mincemeat Pie was made from mouse meat…and therefore, refused to eat it.
Mark your calendars, my Scandalous Knitty Exhibitionists! “World Wide Knit in Public Days 2010” are the 12th & 13th, as well as the 19th & 20th, of June. The Vulgarian Yarn Mafia Los Angeles Chapter will undoubtedly hold some sort of a gathering — come join us if you’re in town! Sharp sticks and even sharper tongues — that’s us!
I am FAR less offended by Tiger Woods’ OUTRAGEOUS pussyhound behavior than I am by his BELLY LAUGHABLE TASTE IN VAGINE. You’d think with all his simolians that he’d only go in for TOP SHELF COOTER. Those broads he’s bangin’ look like Tuesday night at Jumbo’s Clown Room.
At his high school graduation party, John Mellencamp broke up with his girlfriend so he could fuck college broads. When he asked for his class ring back, the girl was so furious that — in front of a 100 people — she pulled the ring off, reached under her skirt, pushed it into her vagina, and loudly announced, “You want your ring back, motherfucker? THEN COME AND GET IT!”
According to Mellencamp, some 40 years later, she still has it.
How much do I love that I have three babies who, when in Disneyland, NEVER EVER fail to call me when they are about to step onto The Pirates of the Caribbean ride because it is collectively our favorite place in the world? I love to hear them DEEPLY INHALE the dank, watery, delightfully evocative smell of the place, and exclaim, “I’m getting on the boat, Mommy! I love you and wish you were here!”
SO ON TRACK.
To paraphrase the words of the brilliant Doug Stanhope: Why would you want to wash away your sins? YOUR SINS ARE THE MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
FUCK NEW YORK. They need to send all these babies to MY HOUSE! I love these babies! I want FLEETS of these babies! These are BABIES and that makes them babies and Mommy likes to kiss them ON THE LIPTH!
“Chewbacca Buffet” is my new stripper name.
Miss CJ and I spent Saturday night at the gorgeous Hollywood hilltop home of Tamra Spivey and Ronnie Pontiac, of the amazing band, Lucid Nation. The sangria was glorious, the paella was divine, the view was breathtaking, and the company and conversation were BEYOND EXTRAORDINARY. It is a night I shan’t soon forget. The stuff of which dreams are made, indeed. Thank you, Tamra and Ronnie, for the BEST TIME EVER. And Happy Birfday, Ronnie!
muffy bolding 