Despite the fact that he was hideous, reprehensible, and shamelessly malfeasant during his two terms as president, of the following I have very little doubt: That it would be a goddamned blast to hang with George W. Bush for a lost weekend. I’d seriously like to party with THAT cowboy. I think he’s a shitkicker, a BELLY LAUGHER, and just plain doesn’t give a shit. I honestly think he and I would be the best of friends.
Once a Jackal…ALWAYS a Jackal.
To all those judgmental bastards who are contemptuous and disdainful of my friends, i.e., the queers, queens, artists, painters, cartoonists, writers, singers, musicians, film makers, actors, dancers, fashion designers, game designers, producers, publishers, hookers, et al…I say this:
Disapprove all you want, motherfuckers, because my degenerate ilk HAS always and WILL always have the last laugh. Tell me…just who do you think creates all the culture that your children hungrily consume? And who, consequently, do you think ponies up the simolians to pay for it?
Yeah. FUCK OFF, LADY…and thanks for the money.
My awesome friend, Drag Superstar Miss Jackie Beat, is currently performing on a gay cruise somewhere in the Pacific…and when she left, I posted the following on her Facebook wall:
“Honey, when that fucking garbage scow starts to go under and Captain Stubing announces that they are loading the lifeboats — starting with WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST — bitch…just straighten that wig, check that lipstick, tuck it back, and WERK!”
“I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.” — Gilda Radner
Muffy Bolding is takin’ a SLOW BOAT TO CAYUCOS.
If I were ever asked to come up with a single-line manifesto for how it is that I choose to live my life…this would be it. This brilliant, ballsy, extraordinary, self-created broad is an absolute inspiration to me, and I hope to be lucky enough to someday work with her:
“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.” — Roseanne Barr
As I sit here in my favorite Target schmata, guzzling a cup of TRULY amazing coffee on this gloriously wet and gloomy Sunday morning — Gregory and the beloved pups still asleep on the bed beside me — I am reminded of a quote from the BRILLIANT Emo Phillips that makes me belly laugh every goddamned time:
“A Mormon told me that they don’t drink coffee. I said, ‘A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits.’ He said, ‘Like what?’ I said, ‘Well, it keeps you from being Mormon…'”
“I called to the executioners that I might gnaw their rifle-butts while dying.” — Arthur Rimbaud
I’m madly in love with Michael Gross. There, I said it, motherfuckers. Oh…and I also said “motherfuckers” — which, apparently, he finds endlessly amusing…which further means that I shall sashay about shouting it from the rooftops of the world until the end of time just to make him laugh.
Oh, wait…I do that NOW. Nevermind.
He is a Mensch, a King Raconteur, a darling man, and now, a precious friend.
FUCK Ernest Hemingway. I hate him SO goddamned much for how he treated Scott Fitzgerald. He was such a smug, cruel, sadistic, histrionic, LATENT fucking meathook, that to this day, I can’t read his work without becoming highly hostile. Yeah…I know that this is bidness, but I don’t give a shit about propriety. For me, this is PERSONAL.
PAPA CAN SUCK MY DICK.
muffy bolding 