broads

Honestly. How LUCKY can one Old Hooker be? A DELIGHTFUL lunch last week at The Grand Central Market in Downtown LA with My Girls — who are comprised of not only BRILLIANT New York Times bestselling author, artist, and SERIOUS Menschette, Miss Mimi Pond (procure and read her MARVELOUS, much-lauded graphic novel, “Over Easy” so you are good and ready for when the MUCH-anticipated sequel comes out!), as well as the DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS and BELOVED world-famous actor, Miss Lynne Stewart (Yes, Mein Poppets…that’d be MISS. FRICKIN’. YVONNE!)…but ALSO my FIERCE, FABULOUS FILIPINA SISTA, Miss Liza Sonza Cranis, behind the gottdamned camera!

I don’t know what I did in another life to deserve such marvelous friends and adventures in this one…but I’m SO glad I did it. When you are fortunate enough to find good friends who love you and support you…LOVE and SUPPORT THEM BACK with ALL your heart.

I really am the Luckiest Slut who ever lived and sashayed the mean streets of planet earth in a black dress and a shit-eatin’ grin.

10947298_10155831287900080_2136296425325209094_n

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

defeat

“All my life, I’ve been fearful of defeat. But, now that it has come, it’s not near as terrible as I’d expected. The sun still shines, water still tastes good…glory is all well and good, but life is enough, nay?” — Mark Antony, “Rome”

Screen Shot 2015-07-21 at 12.41.40 PM

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

check

Recently, Louisiana Governor, FERVENT, VOCAL, RABID, Anti-Choice Advocate, and Republican Presidential Candidate Hopeful, Piyush “Bobby” Jindal, who was BORN here in the United States after his parents moved here while his mother was pregnant — meaning, of course, that he was CONCEIVED in India — unwisely opened up his Twitter account for a world-wide question-fest under the hashtag #AskBobby.

Madness, of course, ensued.

When, oh when, will The Right learn that The Left CREATED the Intarwebs…and our twisted lunatic brilliant jackals FUCKING PWN IT?

ALL HAIL Ol’ Evil Larry, here.

In the VICIOUS circles in which I run…that right there, Mein Poppets, would be a MOTHERLOVING CHECKMATE.

10393711_10153462780271085_2247709214060054637_n

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

oh, yes

Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 9.29.52 PM

‪#‎mamalove‬
‪#‎mamatruth‬
‪#‎woodenspoon‬
‪#‎showwood‬
‪#‎theenforcer‬
‪#‎bonzobonhamonyourbottom‬
‪#‎idontgiveafuckifyoureallgrownupmamawillstillkicksomebabyass‬
‪#‎notreallybutamamacandreamcanti‬

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

packer

Inane Muff Fact #827: 

I am an EBULLIENT ADVENTURER, PATHOLOGICAL PACKER and RABID ACOLYTE of The Rick Steves Method…and can effortlessly pack for three days OR three months in my BELOVED garnet carry-on suitcase…because Mama don’t check bags. EVER:

Three black dresses, black cashmere cardigan, five pairs of Granny Panties, black bathing suit, black Havaianas, Target schmata to sleep in, jewelry satchel with two pairs of black drop-ball earrings and five choice brooches, two vintage lady scarves, moisturizer, sunscreen, crystal deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste, travel package of baby wipes, black Ace comb, medical-grade tweezers (I’M SICILIAN, BITCHES), small black umbrella, writing notebook, MACBook and charger, and a single tube of glorious MAC Russian Red lipstick because I am a fancy motherfucker.

10405338_10152847083801085_2763915787600040644_n

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

fuck numbers

YOU GODDAMNED STRAIGHT.

R8ya4KH

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

the first lady of FIERCE

image

HA! Even HATEFUL, CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN REPUBLICAN BROADS will exalt her hallowed name in JUBILANT COMMUNION over THIS quote, Baby:

“He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.”

Happy 51st Birthday to the FIERCT LADY, Ms. Michelle Obama!

#mendontknownothin #furthermoremendontNEEDtoknownothin #getthefuckouttamycloset #getthefuckouttamybookcases #getthefuckouttamybroochbins #butmostimportantlyofallgetthefuckouttamyYARNSTASH

PS) And, furthermore…Men don’t WANNA KNOW. The TRUTH would BUUUUUUUUURN and BLIND them. Think the EPIC, TORRENTIAL, BIBLICAL, FACE-MELTING, Nazi/Ark of The Covenant Scene at the end of Raiders of The Lost Ark.

YEAH.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

JAWS

11692692_10153432670376085_2883768992609060595_n

Our next big Framily Film Fieldtrip Summer Extravaganza:

Wolfing popcorn and watching “JAWS” on the big screen at midnight…whilst floating together in innertubes…on a pond…with our feet dangling down into the DARK WATER.

OH, YEAH.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

baby bird

HOLY SHIT my punani kicks out some BEAUTIFUL BABIES.

#iloveyoubettysue
#fiercebabybird
#fiercebabygirl
#girlpower
#wasbornaspicegirlwilldieaspicegirl
#messwithheratyourownperilthoughihavenoideahowyoulleatyour4thofjulycornonthecobwithNOFUCKINTEETH

11694987_10153423906761085_4528968085563225035_n

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

ernie

image

#howonearthdidernestborgninegetintomybathroommirror

#yeahchuckleitupallyouperky22yearoldmotherfuckersthiswallisexactlywhereyoureheaded

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment