Honestly. How LUCKY can one Old Hooker be? A DELIGHTFUL lunch last week at The Grand Central Market in Downtown LA with My Girls — who are comprised of not only BRILLIANT New York Times bestselling author, artist, and SERIOUS Menschette, Miss Mimi Pond (procure and read her MARVELOUS, much-lauded graphic novel, “Over Easy” so you are good and ready for when the MUCH-anticipated sequel comes out!), as well as the DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS and BELOVED world-famous actor, Miss Lynne Stewart (Yes, Mein Poppets…that’d be MISS. FRICKIN’. YVONNE!)…but ALSO my FIERCE, FABULOUS FILIPINA SISTA, Miss Liza Sonza Cranis, behind the gottdamned camera!
I don’t know what I did in another life to deserve such marvelous friends and adventures in this one…but I’m SO glad I did it. When you are fortunate enough to find good friends who love you and support you…LOVE and SUPPORT THEM BACK with ALL your heart.
I really am the Luckiest Slut who ever lived and sashayed the mean streets of planet earth in a black dress and a shit-eatin’ grin.
“All my life, I’ve been fearful of defeat. But, now that it has come, it’s not near as terrible as I’d expected. The sun still shines, water still tastes good…glory is all well and good, but life is enough, nay?” — Mark Antony, “Rome”
Recently, Louisiana Governor, FERVENT, VOCAL, RABID, Anti-Choice Advocate, and Republican Presidential Candidate Hopeful, Piyush “Bobby” Jindal, who was BORN here in the United States after his parents moved here while his mother was pregnant — meaning, of course, that he was CONCEIVED in India — unwisely opened up his Twitter account for a world-wide question-fest under the hashtag #AskBobby.
Madness, of course, ensued.
When, oh when, will The Right learn that The Left CREATED the Intarwebs…and our twisted lunatic brilliant jackals FUCKING PWN IT?
ALL HAIL Ol’ Evil Larry, here.
In the VICIOUS circles in which I run…that right there, Mein Poppets, would be a MOTHERLOVING CHECKMATE.
Inane Muff Fact #827:
I am an EBULLIENT ADVENTURER, PATHOLOGICAL PACKER and RABID ACOLYTE of The Rick Steves Method…and can effortlessly pack for three days OR three months in my BELOVED garnet carry-on suitcase…because Mama don’t check bags. EVER:
Three black dresses, black cashmere cardigan, five pairs of Granny Panties, black bathing suit, black Havaianas, Target schmata to sleep in, jewelry satchel with two pairs of black drop-ball earrings and five choice brooches, two vintage lady scarves, moisturizer, sunscreen, crystal deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste, travel package of baby wipes, black Ace comb, medical-grade tweezers (I’M SICILIAN, BITCHES), small black umbrella, writing notebook, MACBook and charger, and a single tube of glorious MAC Russian Red lipstick because I am a fancy motherfucker.
HA! Even HATEFUL, CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN REPUBLICAN BROADS will exalt her hallowed name in JUBILANT COMMUNION over THIS quote, Baby:
“He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.”
Happy 51st Birthday to the FIERCT LADY, Ms. Michelle Obama!
#mendontknownothin #furthermoremendontNEEDtoknownothin #getthefuckouttamycloset #getthefuckouttamybookcases #getthefuckouttamybroochbins #butmostimportantlyofallgetthefuckouttamyYARNSTASH
PS) And, furthermore…Men don’t WANNA KNOW. The TRUTH would BUUUUUUUUURN and BLIND them. Think the EPIC, TORRENTIAL, BIBLICAL, FACE-MELTING, Nazi/Ark of The Covenant Scene at the end of Raiders of The Lost Ark.
Our next big Framily Film Fieldtrip Summer Extravaganza:
Wolfing popcorn and watching “JAWS” on the big screen at midnight…whilst floating together in innertubes…on a pond…with our feet dangling down into the DARK WATER.