Today was the birthday of America, and tomorrow is the birthday of my dear, Sweet Piglet. I love him so very, very much. He is the most darlingest, the most lovingest, the most brilliantest, and absolutely the most sexiest (even though he doesn’t really know it).
He teaches me all kinds of valuable schtuff — like about cozy, comfy bedding…and the bliss of IKEA…and all the good, cheap hippie food to be had at Trader Joe’s…and the importance of daily hydration…and Olympia…and amazing music…and good pizza vs. bad pizza…and the possibilty of Paris…and the possibility of magic…and the presence of sweetness and love every day of my life.
Oh, and he chows the serious muff, too.
I like him alot (even when I wake up in the middle of the night and, mistaking him for a Ring-Wraith, take a mouse-fisted swing at him). I am going to keep him.
I can’t wait to see what he is going to look like when he is old. Okay, so maybe I can wait — but it will be fun strolling around with him when he is wearing cute, old Jewish man shoes and complaining about his lumbago.
I will feed him homemade matzoh ball soup and tenderly kiss his lumbago for him — whatever a lumbago is.
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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