Billy arrived in Nashville this afternoon to begin all the pre-production work for the film. He called me the second he got there to tell me that I couldn’t get my fatass out there FAST ENOUGH — as there appears to be gorgeous solo-video-lookin’ shitkickers and real-live honky tonks on very nearly every corner of the place. For the record, neither of us has, in fact, ever stepped foot into a right proper honky tonk — and we are so very excited to do so.

So then, of course, right there in front of god and cingular, we both spontaneously broke into song, complete with charming Southern accents:

“We’re goin’ honky tonkin’
down in Lou-siana,
Where the biscuits and gravy
taste just like my Grandma’s.
We’re goin’ honky tonkin’
down in Loos-eye-ann-eye-ay.”

And to keep things REAL interesting…here is a picture of where the film will be shot — The Old Tennessee State Prison:

We’ve all already made a pact that we each have to sit all alone in the dark for 10 minutes — in Ol’ Sparky, the electric chair, no less — holding a video camera ala “The Blair Witch Project.” The minute we hear a demonic voice whisper in the dark, “Why are you here?”…or we begin to smell fried baloney, we are excused to quickly exit stage goddamned left. I’m furious that Judd Nelson’s contract fell through and that he shan’t be there to join us.

Oh…but, Tom Fucking Sizemore will.

Yeah.

Billy’s right. I can’t get my fatass out there fast enough.