scary, scary

Billy arrived in Nashville this afternoon to begin all the pre-production work for the film. He called me the second he got there to tell me that I couldn’t get my fatass out there FAST ENOUGH — as there appears to be gorgeous solo-video-lookin’ shitkickers and real-live honky tonks on very nearly every corner of the place. For the record, neither of us has, in fact, ever stepped foot into a right proper honky tonk — and we are so very excited to do so.

So then, of course, right there in front of god and cingular, we both spontaneously broke into song, complete with charming Southern accents:

“We’re goin’ honky tonkin’
down in Lou-siana,
Where the biscuits and gravy
taste just like my Grandma’s.
We’re goin’ honky tonkin’
down in Loos-eye-ann-eye-ay.”

And to keep things REAL interesting…here is a picture of where the film will be shot — The Old Tennessee State Prison:

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We’ve all already made a pact that we each have to sit all alone in the dark for 10 minutes — in Ol’ Sparky, the electric chair, no less — holding a video camera ala “The Blair Witch Project.” The minute we hear a demonic voice whisper in the dark, “Why are you here?”…or we begin to smell fried baloney, we are excused to quickly exit stage goddamned left. I’m furious that Judd Nelson’s contract fell through and that he shan’t be there to join us.

Oh…but, Tom Fucking Sizemore will.


Billy’s right. I can’t get my fatass out there fast enough.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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