speaking of which…

Goddamnit, I love this song. It just so…resonates with me — ‘cuz I really do hate that shit.

You know, I truly believe that underneath all these titties, cashmere, and Jean Nate…I must just be a fucking guy.

She’s Got Issues

The Offspring

I’m seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind.
Well, she’s got baggage and it’s all the emotional kind.
She talks about closure and that validation bit.
I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that shit.

And I say yeah, yeah,
Oh, man, she’s got issues and I’m gonna pay.
Yeah, yeah
She thinks she’s the victim, yeah.

Now, I know she’ll feel abandoned if I don’t stay over late.
And I know she’s afraid to commit, but it’s only our second date.

And I say yeah, yeah,
Oh, man, she’s got issues and I’m gonna pay.
Yeah, yeah,
She says she’s the victim, but she takes it all out on me.

I don’t know why you’re messed up.
I don’t know why your whole life is a chore.
Just do me a favor,
And check your baggage at the door.

Now, she talks about her ex non-stop, but I don’t mind.
But when she calls out his name in bed, that’s where I draw the line.
You told me a hundred times how your father left and he’s gone.
But I wish you wouldn’t call me daddy when we’re gettin’ it on.

And I say yeah, yeah,
Oh man, she’s got issues and I’m gonna pay.
Yeah, yeah,
She’s playing the victim and taking it all out on me.

Yeah, yeah,
My god, she’s got issues and I’m gonna pay.
Gonna pay, gonna pay, gonna pay, gonna pay.
Gonna pay, whooo, whoa.

If you think I’m controlling,
Then why do you follow me around?
If you’re not co-dependent,
Then why do you let others drag you down?

I don’t know why you’re messed up.
I don’t know why your whole life is a chore.
Just do me a favor,
And check your baggage at the door.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

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