the meme of the unholy trinity

You get 3 words; no more, no less.

1. Where is your cell phone?

Between my titties.

2. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/hubby?

The Cutest Piglet.

3. Your hair?

“That Girl” flip.

4. Where is your father?

Covered with snow.

6. Your favorite things to do?

Read, travel, schtupp.

7. Your dream last night?

Kurt and turtles.

8. Your favorite drink?

Ice, water, lemon.

9. Your dream car?

Crazy Rodent Vehicle. (CRV!)

10. The room you’re in?

The Schtupp Chamber.

12. Your fears?

My babies hurting.

14. Who did you hang out with last night?

Piggies, Goats, Otters.

15. What aren’t you good at?

Tolerating no-talent meathooks.

16. Muffins?

No, sourdough bread.

17. One of your wish list items?

Diamonds and guacamole.

19. The last thing you did?

Rinsed my cooter.

20. What are you wearing?

Granny panties. Smile.

22. Your pets?

A fuzzy butt.

23. Your computer?

My Lord/Saviour. Amen.

24. Your life?

Deliberate and improbable.

25. Your mood?

Blissful, lovestruck, anticipatory.

26. Missing?

The lovely Julia.

27. What are you thinking about right now?

Mrs. Dorothy Parker.

28. Your car?

Crazy Rodent Vehicle.

29. Your work?

Hunting and Pecking.

30. Your summer?

Jean Nate cooter.

32. Your favorite color(s)?

Pomegranate, Peridot, Chartreuse.

33. When is the last time you laughed?

Every five seconds.

34. Last time you cried?

Every five seconds.

34. School?

Dropped Out Debutante

35. Personal mantra?

Fuck off, lady.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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