"i adore anyone who adores anyone who adores emerson."

A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
B. Tag seven people to do the same.
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag “whoever wants to do it.

1. I absolutely love grocery shopping. I also love doing dishes and washing and folding laundry –- although I loathe actually putting said laundry away. Mopping a floor is my least favorite household chore. And my main, all-purpose cleaning product? Baby wipes.

2. My favorite car when I was little was a Nash Metropolitan. I was completely obsessed with them, and used to have recurring dreams that I was driving one through the air high over the English countryside. My Grandma Marge had a little aqua and white one that I used to sit and play in for hours when she came to visit. She later sold it to an Ethiopian foreign exchange student for $60. I have never forgiven her for it.

3. I have never been lonely for one second of my life; I don’t even understand the concept.

4. I have never been shy for one second of my life; I don’t even understand the concept.

5. I am positively obsessed with left-handed men; if you are male and left-handed, you’ve definitely got my attention. If you’re male, left-handed, and hung like a Clydesdale…please tell the concierge to have you shaved down and brought to my room.

6. Whenever I go to the post office to pick up my mail, I always always always look for the Jack Chick religious tract booklets that some local fundie dolt occasionally leaves on the counter, apparently hoping to miraculously convert demonic bastards such as myself in a postal setting. I am genuinely disappointed when I don’t find one.

7. You know how sometimes a friend shows you a picture of themselves when they were little…and it looks nothing at all like them? Well, I am one of those people who look exactly like I did when I was five.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

And yeah, yeah, yeah, I read the goddamned memery rules and I still say…do it if you want — and if not (wait for it…)

Fuck off, lady.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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