Use the first letter of your first name and make a list of ten things that start with that letter — all to do with YOU (I did 12 because I’m a REBEL BITCH):

This entry brought to you by…the letter “M”

Miniatures: I am obsessed with all things small — and always have been. The vast majority of my dreams and daydreams before the age of about 13 involved something to do with me being 2 inches tall. You cannot drag me out of a dollhouse shop to save my life (just ask Gregory) and at flea markets and thrift stores, I can go through bins of little plastic dudes for hours. For hours.

Mommy: As in me…not mine. It’s what I do.

Mel Brooks: Along with Buck Henry, he is one of my greatest professional influences. Another is…

Madeline Kahn: Two words: Eunice Burns. That is all.

Mary Magdalene: This is the broad I pray to when I pray. A mother AND a whore. My kinda dame.

Mammaries: After a lifetime of suffering under their insidious weight, as of 2005, they are gone, baby, gone. And I don’t miss them one little bit. Goodbye, Beavertails.

Mirth: It’s what else I do.

Mafia: “The Godfather” — My obsession. My joy. My inspiration. My family.

Mary Poppins: My most favoritest Disney movie of all.

Mandarins: As in oranges. My favorite scent.

Monocle: I want to wear one, strut about, and act a pretentious prick.

Monkeyface: My friends and I have been doing the Monkeyface since the very beginning — with several variations on it emerging as time has passed (i.e., “Monkey looks to heaven and sees god.”) Whenever I am on location, I make every single person I work with take a Monkeyface picture for me. I show them the face and then make them do it — I don’t give a shit how big a fucking movie star they are. As a matter of fact, the bigger the star, the more I am determined to get my shot. Lance Henriksen’s is especially funny — he and I took this stacked Monkeyface totem pole pic together in Romania and it COMPLETELY rules. Maybe someday I shall publish a Monkeyface coffeetable book.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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