bucket list!

Muffy Bucket List Item #2710: To give a handjob using the same hand on which is prominently displayed an official “My Heart Belongs to Jesus” Purity Ring — and to anonymously post pictures of said hand on hardcore porn forums all over the internets. Lemme tell you something, my friends…if one of my kids ever came to me and told me they wanted to marry someone they’d never slept with — I’d kill them myself.

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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One Response to bucket list!

  1. Poster Mojo says:

    LMAO!!! TOOOOOOOOOO funny!!!! The words of wisdom from Miz Muffy never lets me down! Allow me to adjust my purity ring while I pump my hand with some lube.

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