A public service message to all you gullible, self-deluded, Whole Foods-shopping, Subaru-driving, hippie muthafuckas all up in through here — and, believe me, this comes from a place of love: You can horseshit yourselves ALL you want, goddamnit — but Nutella ain’t nothin’ but a Euro-trash tub o’ DUNCAN HINES CHOCOLATE FROSTING…and YOU FUCKING WELL KNOW IT.

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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2 Responses to chocolat

  1. Did you know that here on Long Island, in my hometown, where my Grandfather went to mass every week, is St. Rocco’s parish? They have a big ole feast every June and barely 5 of them know what St. Rocco is the saint of…

  2. i really want the Nutella bag. how much does it cost and where can i buy it??

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