We have an old friend — a BRILLIANT, HILARIOUS ol’ queen who has been a successful casting agent for probably damn near as long as my fatass has been sashaying about on this planet — WHO HAS FUCKING SEEN IT ALL. I live to hear his scandalous tales of all the FAB male movie stars he and his partner have slept with over the years. SO COMPLETELY ON TRACK!
Anyway, because NO AMOUNT OF SKULLDUGGERY WILL EVER BE ENOUGH FOR A CURIOUS OLD HOOKER LIKE ME, a few years ago I asked him if they’d ever nailed any of the celebrity broads they worked with and he told me that, even through all the delightful decadence and debauchery of the 1970s, he’d only slept with ONE woman.
Tasting blood, I then asked how he liked it…and he looked thoughtful for a moment, took a slow sip of his Screwdriver, and, with a face as serious as Stonehenge, answered: “Well, the actual fucking and sucking part wasn’t so bad…but I’ll tell you, honey, I haven’t been able to eat Lobster Bisque since.”