all gussied up

This morning, my old friend — the awesome, intrepid artist, Gabriel Liston — posted simply the following as his Facebook status update: “muffybook”…to which I curiously inquired if he were referring to me…or to some hot, new, vaginally-inclined social networking site. To this, he responded: “I lay in bed while Danielle reads me your notes from her iphone. That is what I do. Everything else is gloss.”

I have to say that this might just be the nicest thing anybody ever said to an old Fresno hooker like me. Thank you for such sweetness, Herr Liston — I adore you no end. Now…pack your youngest child on ice — you know, she who sends her crazy Auntie Muffy the VERY BEST birthday wishes of all! — and ship her out same-day airmail so that I might feast on her tasty little Freddie Flintstone foots this very gottdamned evening.

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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