And speaking about my friends treating my fatass to AWESOME KNITTING ACCOUTREMENT…while we were shooting our most recent movie, I posted a picture that captured my on-set knit shit, and my friend, Jennifer Irwin, noticed that — like the Fresno piece-o’-shit that I am — I was transporting my precious NORO in a (gasp…!) ziplock bag. BAD HOOKER!

Horrified, she immediately sprang into action and sent me one of the adorable mini-knitting totes she makes — and you CANNOT BELIEVE HOW COMPLETELY ON TRACK THIS BASTARD IS. Aside from being the perfect size to drag along with me everywhere (oh, and trust me, I DO), it is sooooo cute…and inside it has what I consider to be its very best feature: a little “snap-loop” through which you feed your yarn and it keeps your ball or skein from pulling out of the tote when you yank more slack. BRILLIANT!

Thank you SO MUCH, Miss Jennifer! I love this bag more than I love Taco Bell, Clive Owen, Granny Panties, OR my Hitachi Magic Wand — and trust me, that’s sayin’ something.

Sew Bendy

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
This entry was posted in categories can suck my dick. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s