she called me a “steamy venus of willendorf”

A very proud and public response to my great friend — the delightful writer, rambler, and raconteur, Miss Ayun Halliday — who has asked if I will accompany her to The Russian Turkish Baths in the East Village next week:

Okay, Miss Halliday…just so there is no misunderstanding: Are you asking my genteel self to remove one of my 400 black dresses so that I might lie majestically naked beside you in a steamy, sweltering room dotted with legions of other delightfully hirsute Hebrews and frill-free Cyrillic hieroglyphics? Because if that is, in fact, what you are asking…the answer is oh, HELL, YES! And to brekkie, as well! Wednesday, it is! Oh, and bring your own Oak Leaf beater broom and particle board 2 by 4, mein Lovely Hoosier Brute — after all, what trashy Sicilian girl worth her weight in filthy lucre doesn’t JUST LOVE a boot to the throat and an undoubtedly much-deserved whoop to the hot, hot heinie? BRING IT!

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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