A very proud and public response to my great friend — the delightful writer, rambler, and raconteur, Miss Ayun Halliday — who has asked if I will accompany her to The Russian Turkish Baths in the East Village next week:
Okay, Miss Halliday…just so there is no misunderstanding: Are you asking my genteel self to remove one of my 400 black dresses so that I might lie majestically naked beside you in a steamy, sweltering room dotted with legions of other delightfully hirsute Hebrews and frill-free Cyrillic hieroglyphics? Because if that is, in fact, what you are asking…the answer is oh, HELL, YES! And to brekkie, as well! Wednesday, it is! Oh, and bring your own Oak Leaf beater broom and particle board 2 by 4, mein Lovely Hoosier Brute — after all, what trashy Sicilian girl worth her weight in filthy lucre doesn’t JUST LOVE a boot to the throat and an undoubtedly much-deserved whoop to the hot, hot heinie? BRING IT!