I’ve noticed that when interesting, stylish women hit about 40, they inevitably get themselves a gimmick. Carrie Donovan, Lynn Yaeger, Anna Wintour, Vivienne Westwood, Betsey Johnson, Fran Lebowitz, Grace Coddington, et al. Distinctive spectacles, vivid hair, costumey clothing.
The message: “Guess what, pal? You might not want to fuck me anymore, BUT GODDAMNIT, YOU AIN’T GONNA FORGET ME.”







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About muffybolding
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
I had a brilliant discussion 10 years ago with my dear friend Deb, who hypothesized that the post forty woman is all about breaking free of the feminine stereotypes. 2o’s were about finding and landing a spouse, 30’s were about pleasing them and keeping them out of the sack with others (this spins off into why 30something divorced women are such a threat to other married women and that psychology)… and she thought that any woman who had fallen this pattern would re-discover herself in her 40’s. She felt that a woman was never truly at home in her own skin until she was 50 – that when our bodies were no longer svelte and perky we were finally free to be opinionated, expressive and our true selves. She then went on to tell me all sorts of truths about my own life (being a whole decade ahead of the norm) that to this day spook the hell out of me. Sadly, I have to say I think she was onto something….