I woke up this morning with a profound inability to GIVE A FUCK. I mean, you cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
But then I remembered: I give a fuck about this. Actually, to be honest, I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS. There comes a time, thief, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when the gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison…and all that is left is an old hooker’s love for this video.
Ovaries, toomers, cooters, lady-bits, and lost youth can FUCK OFF. This is what sustains me now:
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.