Oddly enough — though actually not THAT odd if you really think about the delightfully sodomitic circles in which I cavort — I am one of the very few in my close cadre of friends who has children. Though, in light of the inexplicable, inexcusable statement recently made by that woefully ignorant Nancy Boy, Rupert Everett, may I add that my gay friends who DO have children are some of the most AMAZING parents I know (I’m looking at you, Joe Earley, Adrian J Alvarez, Alec Mapa, and Jamie Hebert). We should all be so lucky to have parents like these guys. THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING. Will you bitches be my Mother?
With that said, gay or straight, parenting is BY FAR the hardest gig you will ever have. EVER. Even when it’s terrific, it’s TERRIFYING. So, for all my childless friends — whether by choice or by circumstance — who always ask me, “What is it like being a parent? What does it feel like to be responsible for THE VERY LIFE of another human being?”
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.