Hollywood FUCKED Rule #2: I had two AWESOME, HILARIOUS old friends — who, sadly, both recently passed away — who together ran a successful casting agency since the 70s. A few years ago, I sat in on a casting session with them for a project I was working on. As the endless line of hopeful young women passed through the room, I quickly became aware of the fact that they almost looked like children to me. I said this to my friend and he laughed bitterly and said:
“Honey, that’s how they want ’em now — so that’s how we serve ’em up. It ain’t about her IQ…it’s about her FQ. In this fucking town, if a woman’s over 30, she may as well be a HUNDRED.”
AND I RAGE.
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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