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A couple of years ago, I was at a dinner party — and I was lucky enough to be seated next to the hugely talented and adorable writer and actor, Tara Karsian…who is one of the funniest goddamned woman I have ever known. Not like a silly, giddy, bonk herself over the head with a bowling pin sort of funny — I am talking a SHUT YOUR SHIT THE FUCK DOWN WITH AN ICE-COLD DEAD-PAN GRANITE FACE FUNNY. She is COMPLETELY ON TRACK.

At any rate, about halfway through this posh, candlelit, star-studded affair, Miss Tara wanted to check her phone to see if she’d gotten any calls, so she slyly opened her purse under the table and checked it without actually removing it from her bag, in an attempt to keep the escaping light to a minimum. Sitting next to her, I totally noticed what she was doing and called her shit out on it, along with, of course, congratulating her on inventing such a clever subterfuge. We belly laughed out loud and decided that henceforth, this covert move would officially be known as “A VINCENT VEGA.”


About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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