I am a genre all unto myself, bitches. That’s right…I am an OLD, FAT, TIRED, SAGGY, WHISKERED, MENOPAUSAL, MANIC PIXIE DREAM CRONE.
Come und get it, boys!
Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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My face is a withered ,and my legs “that kick you in the butt” are lumber,,.,,i am connected to earth,,in some sort of perverse way. there’s nothing proper about my life,,just scene after scene of play dough playing dead,,only to jump up and shock the shit of them..”…I am a bitch of trades and i have plenty of honey for sale..can’t make up my mind what I am,,,but I don’t believe a fucking word your saying about me anyways! sigh ..this is tribute to anyone who dares to be brainless ,,,I have no fucking brains but leftover tissues and few weak sparks!.! I took up flying and crashed! oh no,now what do I do? is the question of the moment! hail Muffy! love you!! wild women rock! just trying to relate!